To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. - Robert Smith Surtees; Whoever tells the best story wins. -- English Proverb. Judges are people who start out knowing everything about everything but end up knowing nothing about anything because of their constant association with experts and lawyers.
People who can write a 10,000-word document and call it a brief. Their conversation is constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke. Despite the seriousness of a courtroom and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. When it comes to humor, everyone is his or her own judge. 623 Best Images About Lawyer Cartoons On Pinterest. A person whose profession consists of protecting his clients from other members of his profession. Funny Lawyer Quotes 'If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. Thank God I now have someone to call ‘my bro’. ", Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. Enjoy our law quotes collection. What kind of coverage do you have?" The 22 Best Inspirational Lawyers Quotes on Images June 15, 2015 0 Comments The only secret that the lawyer really possesses about the law is that no one can ever be certain of what the law … These hilarious yearbook quotes will crack you up. People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made. -- Wheeler's North-American Calendar for 1793, One whose opinion is worth nothing unless paid for. Funny Divorce Quotes For Women Happy Divorce Quotes Hilarious Divorce Quotes Funny Divorce Quotes Happiness After Divorce Quotes Humorous Quotes About Wine Quotes About Divorce And Moving On Bad Divorce Quotes Humorous Quotes On Aging Funny Quotes About Getting Divorced Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes. Here you will get updated jokes on Lawyers Discourage litigation. Funny Quotes. — George W. Bush. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer. An attorney asked what bones they were? People do not win people fights; lawyers do. To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. They are like nuclear weapons: I've got em coz everyone else has. See more ideas about humor, legal humor, lawyer jokes. A tradesman of Windham, Connecticut, having occasion to boil a number of cattle's feet, threw the bones at the back of the courthouse. And what's more, being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go. - Robert Smith Surtees; Whoever tells the best story wins. It is the trade of lawyers to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. Persuade your neighbor to compromise whenever you can. There is a vague popular belief that lawyers are necessarily dishonest. Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box. Well, the very opposite applies with judges. Should be fire OR theft. The glory of justice and the majesty of law are created not just by the Constitution - nor by the courts - nor by the officers of the law - nor by the lawyers - but by the men and women who constitute our society - who are the protectors of the law as they are themselves protected by the law. Your attitude will go a long way in determining your success, your recognition, your reputation and your enjoyment in being a lawyer. Marcus Tullius Cicero. When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. 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